i know, i know...

yes, i know i have been blogging nothing but bullsh!t lately that's not car related. but hey if its always about cars it would be boring. soon i will resume back to the program. so stay tuned.

SAPPY VTINE'S DAY....

reverse some of the roles in the words. you'll know how i feel. hahaha oh man good times. i don't really understand korean, but the translation of the song is pretty good. v day, this is war...

Anxiety chokes me...

I'm sure this is going to sound very ridiculous and uh... I don't exactly expect anyone to believe all this. Uh... for the last little while I've been kinda keeping correspondance with my sanity for a while, and uhh… I really get the feeling that I’m starting to lose interest in the letter writing process. The pieces of the letters, they just get progressively shorter and shorter until it’s not even a reply. I uhh... the whole thing makes me really nervous. I just wish I could show you what a huge problem this is....

I kind of have this... Really terrible habit of asking myself all these stupid questions, right? Like what if uhh… what if there's a spot on my body that I can touch to stop my heart from beating? or like what if, what if theres this uhh... stray bullet out there that’s gonna come through my window and take me out? like what if uhh... what if theres this huge unstoppable comet that’s just gonna like, destroy the earth and all of us? Like what... what if that’s happening right now? How can I avoid all these questions if I don't have that? Like, who is gonna be here? Why... who is gonna be there... in the hospital? Who is gonna tell me that all this is bullshit... its a dream? Just a dream.This is not a joke. And uhh... i'll never sleep.

I BELIEVE IT TOO!

"i believe having an honest heart and valuing the feelings of the people around you is always important, despite the possibility of being betrayed and taken advantage of by some" horiyoshi III


i can say i am real, i can say i have my own rules that i stand behind no matter what. i believe in friendships, love, and feelings. now days, people hear this, they would think i paint my finger nails black and i cut my own wrists and write poems and cry like a little girl with skinned knees. but i can say, i'm still real, i'm still me. like it or not, i am not changing me for anyone.

enjoy the weekend everyone. i'm gonna go play in the freezing cold.

for all the heart break, move forward.