I'm sure this is going to sound very ridiculous and uh... I don't exactly expect anyone to believe all this. Uh... for the last little while I've been kinda keeping correspondance with my sanity for a while, and uhh… I really get the feeling that I’m starting to lose interest in the letter writing process. The pieces of the letters, they just get progressively shorter and shorter until it’s not even a reply. I uhh... the whole thing makes me really nervous. I just wish I could show you what a huge problem this is....
I kind of have this... Really terrible habit of asking myself all these stupid questions, right? Like what if uhh… what if there's a spot on my body that I can touch to stop my heart from beating? or like what if, what if theres this uhh... stray bullet out there that’s gonna come through my window and take me out? like what if uhh... what if theres this huge unstoppable comet that’s just gonna like, destroy the earth and all of us? Like what... what if that’s happening right now? How can I avoid all these questions if I don't have that? Like, who is gonna be here? Why... who is gonna be there... in the hospital? Who is gonna tell me that all this is bullshit... its a dream? Just a dream.This is not a joke. And uhh... i'll never sleep.
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