life has a funny way of picking you up, and then smash your head, watch you fall on your face and stab you in the back. this is always has been the story of my life. when situation starts, its best to keep it close to yourself. this is what i have learned thus far. i had a close friend ended up making things wrost for me. in many ways making a joke amongst people i don't know. because of his misunderstanding, i am now a jester... its funny, i used to be such a strong person in this world searching for my weakness. i found her, she made me feel. and up until now, she has been the only one that can cure me and break me. of course all these things that i'm saying may make me look like a total sissy, cut my wrist, dye my hair black, start writing poems, paint my finger nail emo kid. but then again, i always think its important to be able to express ones feeling down to the bone. this means i really thought about it and can understand myself and maybe others. i can go on and on. but i think i'll leave it be. its a sad time for those of you who has seen me at my best. things are a little different now... because a part of me that has made me who i was really took a bullet to the head. i admit, i have been drinking a little too much. during work, i'm still a machine. but after work... its a different story.
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